Let's Talk About the Problem With Trauma

Why aren't I traumatized enough?


  This question ran through my mind as I began to think about the topic for my personal college essay. Looking back, it's definitely a little crazy that I wished for something that could negatively impact me for maybe the rest of my life to happen to me, but what's shame when you're desperate? 

    Although I finished my essay a while ago, when given the opportunity to edit it in class, I revisited it. And, when I did, I became thankful that I didn't have anything to trauma dump about to an exhausted admissions officer. Why? Because I realized they don't care. They don't care about how my grandparents died when I was just a baby and how it affected me, they don't care about me splitting my head open because my older sister accidentally kicked me into our family gaming console when I was just a toddler, and they certainly don't care about my struggles with my identity after alienating myself with the hijab. Because to them? I'm just another faceless child with just another dream.


  I can't even fault them for this, because if my job was sitting in a seat all day reading essays written by some kids who think they're entitled to a spot because they're legacy or a few students who only achieved their high academic standing because of their heavy reliance on cheating, I wouldn't care either. Of course, there is the majority who have worked hard for an acceptance. But, I'm positive these admissions officers have seen more than their fair share of essays written by people who saw it as a form of therapy rather than as a ticket to their dream college.

    This realization made me think, and although I wasn't happy with it before, my choice to stick with a simple anecdote about tutoring made me happier than ever. Because again, as I put myself in the shoes of the person who is undoubtedly influencing my future (whether for the best or for the worst), I understood that I'd rather read a piece portraying even just a sliver of the personality of the applicant than of a child who's been hit by life one too many times.

    And yeah, that may sound harsh, but society has never really been a fan of sob stories.

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